The Feng Shui Woman Page 2

fourth step. “See, no increase in noise.”

  The woman nodded weakly and stepped up to the second step. “The noise went up a bit. I’m sure of it.” She turned her head and listened. “What is that thumping sound? It sounds like someone is beating on the floor.”

  The husband gently pulled her up to the third step assisted by his wife pushing on the woman’s waist. The thumping sound diminished slightly but it was joined by a scratching sound from the door.

  The Feng Shui woman froze for a few seconds. “What’s that? It sounds like a cat scratching at the door wanting to get out.”

  “We don’t have any cat,” the wife said applying pressure to the woman’s back. “Sometimes I’d swear that all of Africa is in there.” She waited until the woman was on the fourth step. “Yesterday I heard a pack of hyenas. They were so loud I had to go out into the yard to get away from them. Don’t stop. Just keep climbing up the steps. We’ll soon be at the top.”

  The thumping and scratching died back to a faint murmur. A new noise came. Faint but increasing. An unknown squeal across a broad plain. “What in the devil was that?”

  All the lights went out; an upstairs’ door opened and slammed shut. A gust of hot dry air mixed with dust and aromas from distant lands hit them in the face. The woman stopped and tried to step backward but the wife was too close.

  The wife stopped pushing and tugged the woman sleeve for attention. “Don’t say words like that. I told you words that have to do with the dead or under ground makes him upset.”

  The Feng Shui woman wiped her forehead. “What in the hell are you talking about? I only said .” She was cut off by a loud squeal from the room. The lights flickered and came on twice as bright as normal. She leaned back against the wife as far as possible. “What was that? It sounded like a sound I heard on the Discovery Channel.” She paused for only a second. “It was an elephant.”

  They pulled and pushed her all the way to the top while the woman kept mumbling about an elephant. They stopped with the husband and the Feng Shui woman barely in the hallway and the wife on the last step blocking the way down. Hot dry putrid air blew out from under the door causing loose ends of the scatter rug to flutter.

  “What is that smell? It’s awful.”

  “We think it’s elephant manure,” the wife said. She pushed the woman down the hallway to the second door. “Go ahead and open it.

  The woman stood firmly, braced against the wall, resisting the urgings of the two people. “Why do you think it’s elephant manure?”

  The husband released his grip on her arm. “Grandpop worked in Africa as a young man building railroads. In his spare time he would go hunting. He loved to hunt and he dreamed of killing big game.” He paused and listened as an elephant seemed to be trumpeting only a few hundred feet away. Before he could resume the story, a lion roared. It sounded closer and from another direction.

  “What in the hell is going ?” The light went out completely, plunging the hall in total darkness. No light from the downstairs’ room was visible. The whole house was encased in darkness. A bolt of blue lightning erupted from the doorknob and jumped to another knob on the opposite side of the hall.

  “Don’t mention that place,” the wife hissed. “Just open the damn door and exorcise the room.” She removed her hands from the woman’s back

  The Feng Shui woman found another doorknob in the black hallway and anchored herself firmly, refusing to be prodded farther. “What did he do in Africa? He had to have done something wrong for the animals to be here after he’s dead.” She stared in the direction she thought the husband was standing.

  “Grandpop was only a laborer and he couldn’t afford a high-powered rifle. All he had was a single-shot, bolt-action twenty-two.” The husband spoke softly and clear but his voice seemed ten feet away. “He usually shot at small things with very little luck. With a twenty-two caliber, you have to be close. One day he and a few natives snuck up close to an old rogue bull elephant. They hid in some rocks to be safe and waited for the elephant to get closer. Finally he realized the elephant was as close as it was going to get.” The man paused a moment. When he resumed talking, his voice seemed fainter. “Grandpop aimed for the beast’s head and pulled the trigger. The bullet should have bounced off with no more feeling to the elephant than a mosquito trying to bite. But this shot hit the elephant right in his eye. The animal went crazy trying to find the shooter. Finally the animal left and Grandpop returned to camp.”

  The Feng Shui woman held out her arm and made a circle, hitting nothing but the wall. “Where are you? What about the lion and the other animals?”

  “We’re right here.” The husband’s voice was just a bit softer. “The next week he and the natives went hunting again. A huge flock of vultures were circling and landing not too far away. They walked toward the birds and a few hundred yards away the elephant carcass appeared as a small hill. Two old mangy lions that had been chased out of their pride were trying to eat. The lions were busy chasing vultures and fending off hyenas. The hunters climbed a tree to be safe and waited. Grandpop didn’t wait too long before shooting. According to him, the bullet hit one of the lions on the lower foot with the possibility of breaking a bone. The lions had to leave and one was limping severely. Before they left, Grandpop shot at one of the hyenas and wounded it slightly.”

  A lion’s roar came through the door followed by a gust of air that brought the smell of decay to the hallway.

  The Feng Shui woman strained her eyes trying to see the door and what lay behind it. “So he wounded a few animals. That doesn’t mean anything. I think you have a tape recorder in there and for some reason are trying to fool me. Turn on the lights so I can get out of here. Then I’m going to sue the living hell out of you.”

  A bolt of lightning jumped from the door to the light bulb. The flash of white light was enough for her to see she was alone in the hallway. Darkness returned in a split second. The door opened, moonlight spilled into the hallway, bringing more dry African odors along with the harsh laugh of a hyena. Something jumped into the hall. A second later the door slammed shut with a crack of thunder.

  “Who’s there?” She moved her foot back trying to find the first step. Her voice had a high hysterical pitch. “Where are you guys? There’s something here. I think it came from that room.” She paused for a few seconds, straining to hear another sound in the hallway. No sound or light came from either side of the door. She swallowed and wiped at the sweat appearing on her forehead. She relaxed her body bringing muscles and mind under control. A second later, she squared her shoulders. “I’m not scared of any damn ghost,” she whispered to herself.

  She walked to the door and placed her right hand on the doorknob. With her left hand she reached toward the corner of the hall and moved her hand in a circle trying to find whatever had jumped into the hallway. She had turned the knob and had pushed the door a tiny bit when she felt a furry ear. Something hit the door with a terrible force, the door knob was wrenched from her hand, a furry object brushed by her leg causing her to stumble into the doorway.

  For what seemed like an eternity, she moved her head slowly taking in the broad African savanna. A lone baobab tree dominated her view. A movement caught her eye from under the tree. She put her hand on her forehead to block out the full moon. An elephant and a lion were staring back at her. A single hyena was only ten yards away, its nose pointed at the moon. A soft mournful tearful laugh echoed through the still air.

  A low throaty roar caused her to look back at the baobab tree. The lion was standing holding its left front paw from the ground. It moved an awkward step toward her and then sat down.

  The elephant pointed its trunk at her and trumpeted lightly. She could see a broad area of tear stains down one side of it head. It nodded and blinked its good eye.

  The electric lights came on and the man was yelling at her. She swung her head toward them and took in the two of them standing on the last step. She swung back quickly to the savanna. A sing
le twin bed, neatly made, was against the wall. The whole room was neat and clean with a trace of stale air. She stepped farther into the bedroom hoping to see the baobab tree.

  “What did you see?” The wife stood in the doorway ahead of her husband. “What did you see?” she asked again. Her voice was a combination of fear and excitement. “We saw you step in and moonlight came through the open door. Then five seconds later the electric lights came on.”

  The Feng Shui woman smiled for the first time. “I saw nothing. Not a single thing.”

  The husband peered into the bedroom. “You must have seen something. You stood in the moonlight for a second and then went into the room before the electricity came on.”

  “Not a single thing.” She moved a chair an inch to the left, used her toe to slide the rug farther into the room.

  “What are you doing?” the husband asked.

  The Feng Shui woman continued around the room moving things and occasionally putting a small item in her pocket. “I am doing a major exorcism on this room.” She stopped and looked at the two people. “Do you want me to banish all of them back to where they belong? Your Granddad, the elephant, the lion and hyena along with all the smells and sounds?” She waited until they both nodded. “Go downstairs and wait. Also don’t